Tuesday, November 11, 2008

To the Kids Who Knocked on My Door Last Friday

(Or: What I Wished I'd Said Instead of Politely Thanking Them and Closing the Door While They Were in Middle of Asking Me Why I Am a Roman Catholic)

I'm a Roman Catholic because it's the faith of my forebears, and I figure that if I identify as Christian, I might as well go with the one that one that started the party. I know there's this perception that Catholics are wacko because of all of the superstition and ritual, but I don't think it's more weird and witchy than the religious organization to which you belong. Besides, we all need a little magic in our lives, right? In fact, I kind of dig that during each service some serious mojo is supposed to go down. Which may or may not make me a divine cannibal. I haven't quite worked that one through yet...

But I digress.

There are flaws, yes. That's because religion is crafted by very fallible human hands. But among the Christian religions, can we say that one approach makes infinitely more sense than the other? Not really. Because the inciting action for Christianity -- divinity encased in human flesh, born of a virgin, and resurrection -- well it's a lot to swallow. You could say that I have my doubts.

But you're not only concerned with what I believe. You want me to practice it in a certain way, right? Really? Does an omnibenevolent God care if I believe in golden plates? Is THAT what's going to keep me out of Heaven, if it exists? Jeez, it's like saying that even though my answer to #3 on the math quiz is correct, I didn't do the work the right way, so I failed. Is that what you are? My 8th grade algebra teacher?

Mostly, though (and this is for the Church organizers): I don't think it's the wisest thing to send 19-year-old caucasian American boys around the world to spread the word. Send me people who have been THROUGH something, or at least people who appear to have been through something more serious than acne. Do that, and I might be more compelled to listen.


Ruth said...

I ran into some Mormons the other week, walking Hamburger in the gayborhood, and had a similar reaction: "Really? This is the best your church can do?" Unfortunately my Morman-born dog decided to engage, so I was stuck talking to them for a few minutes, giving me enough time to ask them what the hell they were doing in West Hollywood. I was kinda scared the could get beat up.

MCV said...

Yeah, you would think that they might realize that the gay rights activists vs. Mormons headlines MIGHT be an incentive not to enter predominantly gay areas. Which makes me think that they think that my neighborhood and its denizens are in need of saving. Maybe every place outside of SLC needs saving, but still. It's not like I have cracked out kids running around my parking lot.