Friday, February 24, 2012


No, not that kind of swirly. I wasn't bullied in school, nor do I have a fetish.

(Side note: BLECH, Urban Dictionary contributors. Also? I'm a convinced that every word on Urban Dictionary has some kind of perverted alternate definition.)

Anyone who is unfamiliar with Harry Potter may want to skip the next couple of paragraphs. I have found that you are proudly, vehemently anti-Harry Potter. I group you with the anti-Seinfeld, anti-Titanic, anti-Gone with the Wind people. This attitude spans generations!

Anyway, there's a scene in one of the Harry Potter books/movies where Hermione breaks down Cho Chang's fragile emotional state to Ron and Harry. See, Cho's crushing on Harry, but it's complicated because a few months earlier, her previous boyfriend, Edward Cullen, was murdered by Voldemort. (IF SHE'D ONLY KNOWN HE WAS IMMORTAL!) Wait, I'm mixing popular YA series. Sorry. We're lucky that Katniss Everdeen and Ender Wiggin didn't make an appearance.

Once Hermione oncludes an exhaustive list, Ron exclaims that no one can possibly feel all of those things concurrently.

Yeah? Well, welcome to my head. I am constantly mentally listing the things I want to do, haven't done, am feeling, wanting, needing...

What will we have for dinner tonight? I hope my Dad's doctor's appointment went OK. I should call him. Need to tidy the house before friends come over tomorrow. Are we coordinating enough activities and play dates for our kids? I miss my mother. I have to send this report out today. I turned off my flat iron, right?
I really need to find time to write this weekend, but I don't want to abandon my husband with the kids. Maybe I can stay up late tonight...

Does anyone else do this? And, it's not even like I give more weight to the more important stuff. "Are my weekend jeans clean" gets nearly equal attention as "I need to make sure the water bill got paid." Be STILL, unruly mind!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

My Husband, the Encyclopedia of Pop Music

Last night, while watching 'Ringer' (stop judging), a commercial featuring Peter Frampton came on. My husband knows nearly nil about pop music, so I wanted to exploit this fact for my own entertainment...

Me (turning to Super Ninja): Can you name one song by Peter Frampton?

Super Ninja (narrowing his eyes, looking off in the distance): Something... like... Frampton comes alive?

Me: That was the name of the album. Can you name a song?

Super Ninja: Um...

Me: In the world of pop culture, that's like not being able to name an 'Indiana Jones' movie.

Super Ninja: Can you name one of his songs?

Me: 'Baby I Love Your Way'

Super Ninja: Okay, fine, but can you name another one of his songs?

Me: Sure, 'Show Me the Way.'

Super Ninja (trying to deflect to another topic): Who was in in 'The Monkees?' Was that Peter Tosh?

Me (horrified): No! Peter Tosh was a reggae star who was shot to death in his own home. You're thinking of Peter Tork.

Super Ninja: Oh, right. Peter Tork.

Me (beating my head against a coffee table until I pass out.)