Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I am the SLOWEST texter in the world. Little Bro texted me this morning, asking if I could provide him with mi madre's cell phone number. I had to pull my car over, park, and it took me five full minutes to text:
Yep: 410 XXX XXXX
I think it takes me forever because I refuse to use Avril Lavigne-ish abbreviations. And I use punctuation. And capital letters. My only defense for being so old school is that I find it difficult to read texting shorthand, so outta respect for the person receiving the text, I try to make it clear.
Ah well. Something had to give, right?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
After a few minutes, we'd identified the colors of just about everything in the room, so I focused our little game on our own appearances. This game does double-duty in that identifying similarities in our coloring helps strengthen his identification with the family unit. Well, triple duty in that you can unintentionally discover some, ahem, physical flaws.
"What color are my eyes?" I asked.
"Blue," says he.
"That's right! And what color are your eyes?"
"What color is my hair?"
"That's exactly right! And what color is your hair?
"Right again! And what color are my," I fish around for something else that's easy, "teeth?"
Oof. Crushing pause.
"Good job. Let's, uh, let's go read a book now."
Vanity, thy name is MCV. Time to invest in some of these.
Friday, August 24, 2007
I checked out the gubment internet site on trademarking, and it'd cost me a cool $325 to trademark this phrase for every iteration of how I wanted to use it. That's $325 that I need to use for fun things like diapers and pizza, so looks like I'm not going to enter the licensing fray yet. But trust, if you steal this, I will cut you.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
So: is this disproportionate number a bad thing? Am I being a jerk?
Editorial: Don't laugh at my teeny circle of friends. For whatever reason, my particular clutch of gal pals leans Luddite, so no Facebooking for them. And, apparently, I'm also a jerk who doesn't accept friend requests from every joker who stumbles upon her profile.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Aww, yeah. Thwip thwip, baby. Super Ninja, and possibly Super Ninja's brother, will be totally jealous**. I'd bet cash money that Super Ninja will totally take this quiz and turn out to be Black Canary or something.
Anyhoo, here's what the great online gods of superhero classification said about yours truly:
Man, it's like they know me.
UPDATE: Super Ninja turned out to be Superman. This will surprise no one who knows him. Goober. Here's the description: You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test
*Super Ninja = my husband
**Jealous = not really. He REALLY would've been annoyed if they poll determined that I most closely resembled the Hulk, but I think he'll be okay with Spidey.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Really, Steven? An FBI affadavit caused your career spiral? Not your film choices? Or that action stars (and I use that label grudgingly) score fewer roles as they age because audiences can't and won't suspend that much disbelief? Or the ponytail? I mean, my God, Steven, the ponytail alone could ground any soaring career.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Ultimately, I sounded like a total cold fish when I declared that I am not a hug whore. Don't get me wrong. Hugs are nice. They really are. But people who dole them out like smiles just don't get non-huggy types like me. I've even heard an accusation or two about being an unfeeling robot. So after my initial, "Hey, I don't hug a lot," I kept a lid on it.
Man, it was like that time at the office when I hinted that we celebrated too many things in the office with cake. THAT did not go over well either.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I have to assume that 'twas someone of the male persuasion who searched this out. I don't know any women who would perform her own oral surgery (they may be out there, those hearty and hale females, but I've not made their acquaintances). Removal of wisdom teeth involves stitches and ugly terminology like "dry sockets," so please, fella, hie yourself to someone who gets paid to do this stuff.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Case in point: this morning, Larry Flick was analyzing the Visible Vote '08, which aired on Logo last night. Now, this is a pretty big deal as the candidates that are considered to be the really major players -- Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards -- all participated. But Larry Flick expressed some concern that various news media outlets and, oh, say, the general public wouldn't take this not-really-a-debate and its participants very seriously for various reasons. Fair point, for a couple of reasons: Melissa Etheridge, not Tim Russert, for example, moderated. Also, no conservative candidates participated.
Another reason Larry cited? Several of the candidates were wearing ill-fitting suits -- some were too big, some were too small, and Larry pointed out that a person loses some of their gravitas if he doesn't allow tailors to work his magic on his political threads. And that, my friends, is the kind of thing you'd expect to hear from a gay boyfriend.
Just for fun, enjoy the Hazzards' "Gay Boyfriend":
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Yeah, that's right. I used umlauts. Given the approximate 1,200 hours I spent in foreign language classes, I'm a bit of a stickler for using accents properly. Ooh, how I cringe when I see someone's used an accent grave instead of accent aigu on words like résumé.
But I digress.
After last night's dental appointment, I am the proud owner of a shiny new crown. Watch, it'll tumble outta my mouth in a week. You'd think this was the last I'd see of the pleather dental chair for a while, right? Yeah, you'd think that. Except I have a wicked decayed wisdom tooth that I have to have yanked. Not very wise of me to still have this thing at the age of 32. Ha ha! Ha. Ha...
Anyway, my dentist doesn't extract wisdom teeth, so he's referred me to a maxillofacial surgeon. Sounds scary, right? I had two wisdom teeth removed about seven years ago, and it wasn't the worst thing I've ever experienced. Why didn't I just have all four wisdom teeth pulled back then? My dental insurance wasn't so awesome, and cash was thin on the ground. But now I'm loaded for bear when it comes to dental insurance, so Mr. Maxillofacial Surgeon can have at it.
Of course, these means that I have three more dental appointments -- one at my regular guy for one of those full head x-ray thingamahoosits, a survey appointment with the surgeon, and then the blessed day when they remove the gnarly cratered thing and its stalagmite twin from my head.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
They don't live next door to us. They're not even in our little townhouse development, or I'd see less humor in the situation. These folks live on the corner of the intersection of the road that leads to our community. Why write about them, you ask? Because they, Gentle Readers, are the reason that Homeowners Associations exist.
Monday, August 06, 2007
A word of advice.
If you are going to go all Zoolander to beef up your online gallery, figure out how to use the timer on your digital camera. Or ask a friend to snap a few pics. Definitely don't stand in front of your bathroom mirror and take your own picture with your arm slightly out of frame so it (almost) doesn't look like you're holding the camera. (How do I know it's the bathroom mirror? The towel rack in back of you, tough guy.) It's the height of narcissistic toolishness.
All of this is to say that I might get a wee judgmental of music played during a wedding reception. The wedding we went to this past weekend was a lovely affair, and I've no critique of the ceremony, the organization, nor the first dance song choice. But there's a song that's been played at the last three weddings I've attended, and it's making me wonder...
Is "I Will Survive" an appropriate song to play at a wedding? A song about righteous singlehood? I know it's got a great beat and you can dance to it, but could we retire this one from events celebrating coupledom?
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Something still didn't make sense, though...there were some framed lithographs in that heap. Since I came of age in the 1980's, I recognized the oeuvre of Patrick Nagel straightaway. I don't mean to stereotype, but...really? Patrick Nagel? For veterans? What's a veteran going to do with this:
Even if Purple Heart merely sells the items and donates the proceeds to veterans, I still wonder if this 20-year-old fad is really going to bring home the bacon.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Man alive (or recently deceased, I guess), it was like someone had taken some of my long simmering thoughts and beliefs and turned them into a tasty and presentable meal. I'm not ego maniacal enough to claim that I coulda been a towering figure in the world of therapy or anything like that. But it's nice to see that my take on neuroses and such isn't a fringe perspective.
Small gripe to my alma mater: WHY wasn't Albert Ellis mentioned in Psychology 001 for goodness sakes? We spent most of the semester on William James, and then crammed in every other psych-ologist/iatrist since the dawn of the DSM in the final few weeks. Go ahead and argue that Ellis was a behaviorist and shouldn't be lumped into psychology. The behaviorism designation didn't stop my prof from including B.F. Skinner.
Ahem. Anyway, it was crazy to me that it was only upon his demise that I became aware of Albert Ellis. Here I am, thinking I'm all sorts of edumacated about incredibly influential people, and then I find out about him. Shows to go that Socrates was right about knowing that we know nothing, eh?
Since none of us belong to Clan Flanders, this game would not have been our cuppa tea. But I had to share this with you because of the quotation marks around the world "Trivia." That's a subtle indicator that naught about the Bible is, in fact, trivial. 'Cause we all know how important the cubits and the dress codes and hair braiding are.
Aw, man, I've gone and blasphemed again, haven't I?