Another Chapter in "What to Expect When You Are in Your Thirties"

At some point, technology will begin to escape you. You will no longer surf the tip of the wave of gadgetry. You will wipe out, and wipe out horribly.

I am the SLOWEST texter in the world. Little Bro texted me this morning, asking if I could provide him with mi madre's cell phone number. I had to pull my car over, park, and it took me five full minutes to text:

Yep: 410 XXX XXXX

I think it takes me forever because I refuse to use Avril Lavigne-ish abbreviations. And I use punctuation. And capital letters. My only defense for being so old school is that I find it difficult to read texting shorthand, so outta respect for the person receiving the text, I try to make it clear.

Ah well. Something had to give, right?

You've Got (Really Boring) Mail

A coupla months ago my e-mail service introduced a crazy efficient spam-blocker. So, while I miss the frequent communiqués from those generous Nigerians and the good-hearted medical folks who want to help me enlarge body parts I don't have, I am excited that my Inbox now contains honest-to-goodness notes to yours truly. What a thrill when I log in, and I see that I have 25 unread messages! I am silly popular!

Oh...wait...22 of them are e-newsletters about my children, order confirmations, or product/software update bulletins. Friends and family send the occasional e-mail, but most of us are chatty phone people, so the written word kinda falls by the wayside, and here I am with nothing to entertain me except strangers' blogs and online newspapers. Hmmm...I guess this is inspiration to tap out a couple of missives, eh?

Cripes, I just realized I sound like an octogenarian who woke up on the wrong side of the adjustable mattress. Never mind! Never mind! I take it all back!