Yep, I got the old pink slip. Not the frothy confection you see above. I just included that 'cause I thought it was funny. Nope, after four months of glorious work at a fun company, I'm now part of the proud 5% of unemployed Americans. Huzzah.There had been rumblings since the beginning of December. But the official word finally came down on December 16th, and December 23rd was my last day. I wasn't the only one who got the boot. The company I worked for pretty much cut everyone loose. Everyone, that is, except for a skeletal operations crew. There's no ill will toward the owners of the company or anything, but I do wish there'd been some kind of severance so that I had some kind of cushion. Eating into savings and credit card limits makes me feel icky.
I think I'm doing all of the right things, though none of them are particularly pleasant. I filed for unemployment on Christmas Day (ah, the delicious irony of that), but because of some bureaucratic blah blah blah, my benefit will be delayed a little bit. It's a pittance compared to what I earned, but at least it's something.
Since we returned from a wonderful family Christmas visit in the 'burbs of Cleveland, my job has been finding a job. Through networking and other traditional means, I've applied to about six different positions and have already gone on one interview. It wasn't a particularly thrilling one, and it's firmly ensconced in the world of administration. Which brings to mind the whole question of what direction I want my career to take...creative production or administration? I'd prefer the former, but I'm really good at the latter. I don't want to make any decisions in a vacuum, but if it's between paying my utility bills and feeling creatively challenged, I'm going to have to go with whatever keeps the lights on.
The above couple of paragraphs have been a regurgitation of factoids and timelines. It's not like I have a lot of distance since I'm still mired in this whole joblessness thing, but I'm kind of surprised at the emotional impact this whole experience has had on me. I got my lay-off letter (which was not, in fact, pink) the same say that me and Hubby and the Boy flew outta Dodge for the holidays. So, my absorption of this info was placed on pause, in effect.
But after New Year's, and after Hubby wended his way to the office for the first time in 2006, I was left home to scour the 'net for job opportunities. And it's a little bit crushing. There are no immediately appealing jobs posted on Monster.com, Sunspot.net, WashingtonPost.com, CareerBuilder.com, USAjobs.gov, Craigslist.com, or any of the sundry companies' websites I've checked out. I keep telling myself that it's just the beginning of January, and that most companies don't look to hire right now because key decision-makers are still celebrating Hogmanay in some remote corner of the country. I'm trying to leverage my network of gainfully employed people, but that gets weird. I'm sure these folks would be willing to help me, but I don't want them to feel like I'm using them. And I wonder, too, if I wouldn't feel a little slimy for having gained entrance to an interview through a backdoor.
I guess I wanted to find jobs that I want to do, instead of those that I simply could do. I wanted employers, mere minutes after I sent in my resume, to call me and bend over backwards to bring me in for an interview. I have an ego, people. I'll admit it. In all of my jobs, I've been told what a wonderful addition I am, that I can handle any problem that's lobbed my way, that I am, to quote a co-worker, "the best argument for human cloning." Suffice it to say, I am pretty confident in the value I would bring to any conference table.
But I'd have to prove that all over again. It wouldn't be taken as given. Of course, I'm willing to roll up my sleeves and do that. But not for a job that doesn't stoke my passions and interest.
Not only that, but my resume does not look like a neat, logical staircase of experience. I was in marketing, veered off into admin, then jumped back to sales and marketing. These are not job fields that can be married easily in someone's imagination. Anyone who takes a look will see that I can do a little bit of everything, but may need some guidance in translating it to his job opening.
The other thing that's rankling me is the advice of friends and family. I absolutely, completely, 100% understand that it's coming from a vasty deep pocket of love. But that doesn't make it any less, ehrm, frustrating.
More than a few people have asked me, "Didn't your company know they were in trouble?" How am I supposed to answer that? If they did know they were in trouble when they hired me, then they are dishonest. If they didn't know they were in trouble, then they are stupid. And I chose to work for people who are dishonest or stupid, or possibly both. Why on EARTH would I want to participate in that conversation?
One of my sisters has worked for the same place for 20+ years. Yes, she's made hiring decisions for a lot of people. And yes, she's applied for loads of internal jobs. But when you come down to it, she hasn't had to do the kind of job search I'm currently fumbling through. Yet I get questions like, "Have you looked at Monster.com?" That's the 21st century equivalent of asking me if I've looked at the "Help Wanted Section." Of course I have!
And a friend of mine, God love her, has been sending me Admin Assistant jobs. Obviously, I know that my job experience isn't easily classified. And I'm not ungrateful, or looking down upon Admin Assistants. But I need and want something more. It's like sending an unemployed doctor a vacancy announcement for a medical records clerk. It's in the same arena, but it's not the best use of my particular skills. When I gently, kindly indicate that I'm not interested in this job or that company for fairly valid reasons, I get a very distinct, "Beggars can't be choosers" vibe.
Ooh, and the inevitable, "You could just temp for a while." Um, no I couldn't. There's no stability in temping. There's loads of travel in temping. And there's not a lot of pay in temping. The max I've seen is $15 an hour for temps who aren't in highly specialized (i.e, IT, biotech, etc.) areas. That comes to about $600 a week gross. My unemployment benefit will be a little more than half that. And will allow me to continue searching for a job that I want, instead of one that just meets our collective family financial need. Why not strive for both?
I'll admit, I'm being overly sensitive about this one. Like I said, I know it's all coming out of love and my friends and family are just looking out for me, wanting to make sure that I've examined every possibility. But having unasked for advice unloaded on me makes me feel like my job hunting efforts are being perceived as, ahem, lacking.
Sidenote: If I don't have seriously interesting job offer by the end of next week, I'm going to post my resume here. Maybe it'll turn into one of those cyberspace phenomena, like SaveKaryn.com or something?
Blah. Back to looking for a job that's close to home, pays $25+ per hour, doesn't demand night and weekends or loads of travel, and is accomodating to people with small children. Ooh, and also involves left and right brain activity. If you've got one of those in your hiring roster, lemme know.
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