Friday, June 01, 2012

Yesterday Was Just... Weird, Man. Just Weird.

We all sneer at astrology.  Until so many whacked-out things happen, you become CONVINCED that you are not an agent in it.  Instead, it becomes apparent something in the very firmament is skewy, and it is raining it's triune thundersnow upon your head.

Like yesterday.

While waiting for the bus stop, a pair of mating birds nearly FLEW INTO MY HEAD.  Look, I have a big head.  Not ego-wise.  Irish-wise.  But I didn't think it had it's own gravitational pull! As the birdies played the chasey-chasey game, one of them honestly buzzed my head, lifting my hair from my shoulders.  Can you imagine if they'd actually connected with my noggin?  I'd have to get treated for a concussion and rabies.

Stupid young love.

Next, when I tried to drop my daughter off at her Pre-K/daycare on UMBC's campus, there was a note plastered to the door that said, "Campus is on lock-down.  There is a gunman on the loose."

Um, what?

Now, all of you 'The Wire' devotees can just back off.  YES, there is a metric ton of crime in Baltimore.  But I live outside of the city in the suburbiest suburbs you can imagine.  Wisteria Lane?  PSHAW!  So, the idea that the college campus that is located behind my neighborhood has gun-totin' students, well, that was a new one.

So, I kissed my daughter goodbye and wished her godspeed.  NO, of course I didn't do that.  She came home with me until the shenanigans were resolved.  But, it kind of squashed my work-from-home plans.

After I dropped her off (you know, after the gunman was found and carted off to detention or whatever they do with students who stupidly break the law), I went to my son's 2nd grade class picnic.  When I say, 'picnic,' I mean sitting in a patch of dirt with grass whiskers, eating whatever I could cobble together for my son since he doesn't like sandwiches, or lunch meat, or most cheeses. 

This is what I came up with for him: 2 hard boiled eggs, a bucket of cubed watermelon, blueberries, a kosher pickle, string cheese, potato chips, and a juice box.  Yum?  But the weirdness of this rendez-vous was not the food, nor was it the 'games' we played (here's a tip to the teachers coordinating next year's picnic:  give parents the rules for the games we are supposed to lead). 

No, this weirdness was all about one of my son's friends.  For the purposes of this tale, please note that he is not a special-needs child. 

While we were unwrapping our lunches, he declared, "I can suck my toes!"  And proceeded to do that.  While sitting with us on our picnic blanket.  So there I am, munching on some baby carrots, and this kid is really lollipopping his big toe. "You know," I said, "that may seem hilarious now, but if you keep it up, you're going to be the kid in high school that everyone remembers sucked his toes at the 2nd grade picnic."

He did not seem to care.

As if on cue, though, two fourth grade girls at recess walked by, and he again shouts, "I can suck my toes!"  Both girls squealed, "EW!" He paused for a moment, but then jumped right back on that horse.

If he and my son have a play date, I may institute a "shoes stay on" policy.

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